Nadiah Alwi

It’s only 1 day away from my birthday. My 32nd now.

I don’t know how I should see this birthday. I don’t even know what to do on that particular day. Should I hold a party — a small one, only family included? Or, should I simply give myself a me-time? Or, I’ll just let it go by?

Well, I have prepared some kind of a celebration at my online store. And, I guess my online life would be pretty hectic that day — thanks to facebook.

Yet, I’m talking about my offline life — I can’t say ‘real’ life ‘coz anyhow my online life is in a way as real or even more real than my offline life.

I was thinking about having this contemplation time just like th eold time when I was early 20. However, at that time, I was comtemplating about what would I become.

Now,  I don’t know yet what I would become. But, I’m not searching anymore.

Well, let’s see if I can think of something excited for me to do on that special day. I doubt it though. I have a feeling it will just go by, it will just be the same as other ordinary days. So what if it is?

My job makes me wander around blogs with posts on home interior. Oh, they have so many pics with beautiful homes. I have to try not to droll seeing them.

Talking about home, I might have to say goodbye to the house in which I live for almost all my life — I only lived in another house for 2 years, and I moved back in this house. I am so sad about it. But, unfortunately, I have no choice. It’s not mine.

I can’t tell you the reason. It’s private.

Moving out of this house, I might have to live in another house which is not mine either otherwise I have enough money to buy a house of my own. Amin to that.

Back to those blogs. They have these great pictures — I told you about it, I know, I just am so excited about it, I feel like telling you again — of pretty houses. Those are how I want my house to look like.

Yet, only God knows when that dream would come true or if it ever will.

Back to the house I live in now, I feel so sad for having to leave all the sweet memories behind. So sad.