Nadiah Alwi

Totally missing it. Blogging.

I used to blog to let go of my tense. And, now, I am tensed. So, I blog.

What to write? Honestly, I still don’t know. Have some ideas in mind but none of them seems to be good enough. And, to be honest, that’s why I don’t blog much these days — plus, of course, the facebook thing, you know…

So, now, I want to go back to my blogging life. Here and the other blogs I have. Now, at least, I have like 4 of them — my daughter has 3, so…my having 4 blogs is nothing compared to hers.

Blogging — or writing — is a part of me I can never get rid of  — bcoz, of course, I don’t want to and I love it. Every time I write, I feel this certain feeling which is both fulfilling and relieving. It’s like I fly to the moon doing it — it’s too much, isn’t it?

Mostly, I write fiction. I even blog some of my fiction work. Yet, I actually love both, fiction and non-fiction. However, I am a bit picky when it comes to non-fiction — both while writing and reading it.

By the way, I love reading, too. As much as I love books. I guess, I love books more than reading ‘coz I have so many books, yet about 2 out of 5 of them are still on the waiting list. I just don’t have enough time to read them all.

I used to have an online book store — it still exists now, I just don’t have time to take care of it the proper way. Do you think I just sell those books there? I used to sell second hand books. It was lovely providing people with books they love. Bcoz I know exactly how they feel. I feel it, too, whenever I have new books.

Hm…seems like my talking here is not about missing my blog anymore — which is the title of this post. But, hey…it’s my blog, it’s up to me how I express myself. Plus, not many read this blog anyway. If you happen to be one of those not many people, hope you don’t mind all my brag here. If you do mind it, well…sorry — I was about to say ‘I didn’t ask you to come over, you came here on your own call,’ but then I thought about it and it wasn’t polite enough, so sorry seems to be a better choice.

Anyway, gotta go. I have a 6 years old who needs help to get ready for bed. See you on the next blogging session — if there was a you.

PS: The pic doesn’t say anything about my missing the blog, but it shows how my daughter and I love to be on the same frame.

Normally, when it comes to parenthood, I write it down at my other blog about kids and parenthood (in Indonesian). But, now, it’s not me being my baby Hana’s parent, but more like me being a parent…or other people being parents.

Nothing is more important than the child(ren)’s happiness for parents. At least, every time I see my daughter’s smile, I feel like everything is okay.

Parents would do anything to make their kids happy, to protect their kids. Anything.

And, I kindly did that within these few days. And, seeing my Hana smiled and looked so happy, nothing was more important. No matter what I had to go through, it was nothing compared to that beautiful smile.

Yet, I can’t expect the same thing from other people. So, being a parent differs from one person and another. No expectation is a lot better than the contrary.

What makes me happy about being a parent might be something that make other parents irritated. And, what they find enjoyable being parents might also be something that I can’t stand.

So, being a parent, you can’t be judgmental about other parents’ opinion or decision. No, you can’t.

By the way, I like the new series, Parenthood.

My baby Hana is 5 years old today. A few weeks ago, she told people that she wanted to invite Rachel Ray (and Oprah) to her birthay party. FYI, sometimes she accompanies me watching Oprah and Rachel Ray’s cooking sessions.

Well, I can’t afford a birthday party with them as the invitees. So, I tried to be a ‘lil bit creative about that. I decided to cook. The way Rachel does. It’s gonna be Rachel Ray’s food look alike.

I gathered the ingredients which are somehow quite different than those Rachel normaly uses. I walked in to the kitchen at 6.30 am — which is RARELY done, almost never! I expected to complete the whole thing at 7.30 am. If Rachel needs 30 minutes. Well, this almost-never-cooking woman might need an hour.

At 8.30, my baby Hana was getting starved. She came in to the kitchen. Then, she smiled. No, she didn’t complain. She was being a sweet girl.

You know what, I finally came out of the kitchen at 9 am. It took me 2.5 hours to complete the cooking. 2.5 hours! Can you believe it?

How was it? Umm…it tastes ok for me — although Hana said it was YUMMY! Very very sweet.

Well, Happy Birthday, Dear! I’ve tried my best though!

Many bloggers write posts on this case. Thousands of people joined a Facebook cause. A mother of two was jailed for a “defamatory” e-mail she sent out about the standard of care in an exclusive Tangerang hospital.

You can read the whole story at the Jakarta Globe, a daily English language newspaper in Indonesia.

I am watching Oprah now – yes, I still am, it was started only half an hour ago. And, as usual, this wonderful show can make me shed tears.

It’s about a mom who had to do lots of surgeries after giving birth. Worse, she got her hands and feet amputated.

Yet, she’s been very strong in dealing with all that. She never gave up. She admitted that she had cried a lot, too, but she knew that life had to go on.

Oh, how I am inspired by her strength. I have been dealing with things that are a lot easier to handle than her things but all I did was complaining. I feel ashamed now.

But, I think, after watching her there, I know I have to be strong.

You know what, in your life, everything happens for a reason. This Oprah show, in a way, I feel like it is a way Allah (my God) tells me something, a way Allah wants me to understand the situation.

Another thing, yesterday, I had this conversation with someone. It was kind of a professional discussion. But, you know what, she was talking about stuff and she chose an analogy that was exactly what I had been trying to deal with lately.

She opened my eyes without knowing that I had this issue. Isn’t that amazing? I think, Allah must have sent her to me. You know what, the appointment, at the first place, was actually canceled. Yet, suddenly, this person’s secretary told me that her boss would be able to make it.

Oprah just said, “Mother Warriors!” and, I feel like she just called me that, too. ME. Yes, ME. It could be the words of Allah, too, an answer to my prayer this dawn — we Muslims, have 5 times of prayer a day, one of them has to be done before the sunrise.

It’s over, Oprah Show. And, just now, I saw commercial break on Rachel Ray. I don’t want to miss that one, too, as I love seeing her cooking. I never really cook, but, I never give up on hoping that one day, I will be able to cook delicious meals for my family. Yeah