Nadiah Alwi

*Phone ringing*

Man: But, I need to see you.

Woman: You have to understand.

Man: Silent.

Woman: Say something, will you?

Man: What?

Woman: That you understand.

Man: But, I don’t.

Woman: You said you would.

Man: Silent.

Woman: You knew it from the beginning.

Man: Silent.

Woman: I gotta go now. He’s here. *Click*

*Phone ended*

Picture by: Tomasz Piskorski

Man: Thanks for listening.

Woman: It’s ok.

Man: Do you think she ever loved me?

Woman: I don’t know.

Man: Not that I care now. She’s out of my life.

Woman: Silent.

Man: Thanks for being there for me.

Woman: I can never be out of your life, can I?

Man: You’re my best friend. You’ll always be there as I will always be there for you.

Woman: I wish I was her, though.

Man: I used to have a crush on you.

Woman: Why didn’t you say so?

Man: Because, I had a crush on you.

Woman: I did, too.

Man: Why didn’t you say so, either?

Woman: Because, I had a crush on you. And, you were supposed to be the one who said that. You’re a man.

Man: Why can’t women express their feelings toward men?

Woman: Who said so?

Man: You just did.

Woman: I did not.

Man: Yes, you did.

Woman: Sigh.

Man: Silent.

Woman & Man: (altogether) Now…

Man: You go first…

Woman: Aren’t you going to say it?

Man: Say what?

Woman: Sigh. Just forget it.

Man: Ok.

Woman: Sigh.

Man: Would you like to join me for dinner tonight?

Woman: Silent.

Man: I guess you don’t.

Woman & Man: Walk different ways.

No one told me that he was there. So, when I came home, it was a surprise seeing him standing there, by the window. I looked around, looking for Mom. She was not there.

“Where is Mom?” I asked.

“She went to Lisa’s.”

Lisa was Mom’s best friend.

“Why do you come here?”

“To apologize.”

“After these five years, you think, it’s that easy?”

“I had no choice.”

“Whatever!”

He grabbed my hand, right when I was about to leave the house. Then, those images came to my mind, those that hurt me most.

“Let me go!”

“You have to know the truth.”

“I know the truth.”

“No, you don’t.”

He held me tight. I tried to free myself, but failed.

“She cheated. That’s why I left.”

His voice was like thunder in my ears.

“What?!”

“I wanted to take you with me. But, at that time, you hated me. You saw me slapping her. But, that was because she was cheating. So, I had to leave. I was totally hurt.”

He let me go, but I didn’t run.

“Dad?”

He hugged me. I hugged him back. Just like old times. Then, his story flew like all the water in the river, ended in my heart. I saw him differently. Yet, I didn’t know how I would see my Mom after all his explanation.

Would she be guiltier than him? Or, was he guiltier for telling all those right when I managed to heal my broken heart after he left?

I just didn’t know.

She always calls me ‘Love‘. Yet, I know, she never means it. That’s the hardest part.

Her love is somewhere, in someone else’s heart.

I only have her body. I thought that would be enough, I thought, I had won. But, I was wrong.

She does call me ‘Love‘. But, she never loves me. Yet, I don’t care. A white lie is enough.

Call me a fool, ’cause I am one.

~ a fool man, the foolest on earth ~