The Rule

You cannot please everyone, as well as cannot make everyone like you.

That’s the rule in this world.

Just Saying.

Self Reminder.

What do you see in him?

In my opinion, husband-and-wife relationship is a very personal matter. You can’t share it with just anyone. In my religion, it’s even better to keep it for yourself.

I have a friend who told me that she regreted telling her marriage problem to another friend of hers. ‘Coz, instead of simply listening — as how she wanted it — the friend judged her.

“What do you see in him? Just leave him.”

My friend was stunned. She didn’t expect such a response.

Is it that easy leaving a marriage? All she wanted was someone to listen to her, to give her a ‘lil bit of empathy.

Oh, dear friend. You shouldn’t have told her about it at the first place. What happen to you and your hubby is your secret to keep. Unless, you can’t help it anymore. But, it’s better to seek some solutions from an expert, for example, or some marriage counselor. Because, you never know how people might react to your story.

And, I told her. “Dear, if ever you get such a question again, make sure you answer it the right way.”

“How?” she asked.

“Say: I see what you don’t see.”

She gets quiet.

It is true, rite? That when you decide to stay in a marriage, there are things that only you can see, that make you survive no matter what. Well, maybe it’s for the kids. Or, maybe, it’s simply him (or her). Something in your spouse that in your eyes still has values.

So, just be careful in telling people about what happen between you and your husband.

Picture by: Brano Hudak, Slovakia

House or Home?

What I love with English is it has two different terms one can use to define a place where he/she lives in. Why is it so important for me? Because, I feel like now I live in a house which I cannot call home. And, for me, that is quite sad. Because, previously, I did call it home.

I used to live here since I was three days young up to one week after my marriege which was when I was 26 years old. After the marriage, I rent a house. But then, about two years later, I had to go back to this house for some reasons.

And, now, after almost four years living here again, I feel like there is such a big gap between me and this house. We both, in a certain way, distance ourselves from each other.

Me with my big desire to have a house of my own, and the house itself with its different proprietor.

Actually, there are many things that make me sad about living here. One of them is how this house reminds me a lot of my late beloved grandparents. Yes, it was their home, with me in it. Now that they are gone and this house providing various memories on each of its corners, the comfot I used to feel has gone.

I also have this big dream of my own house. A big dream of a small comfy house. I don’t need a big one, because I know I have only little time and energy to clean up the whole house. And, I also want it to be warm. It’s not that big house cannot provide warmness. It can, but with lots of members of family living in it. I wish to have it with my small nuclear family, consisting of not more than 4 persons, hubby, me, my daughter, and maybe my second child.

I don’t know how, but I still hope and pray that one day, this beautiful dream will come true. With the love of Allah, insya Allah, I will have a place that I can call home — again.

[Review] After (Luc dan Aku) by Francis Chalifour

My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I like this kind of books. You know, the books that talk about pain, about how one deals with death and stuff. Especially, it’s a teen book. I don’t know why, but I enjoy reading books talking about teenagers. About how they deal with life and everything.

I have a certain feeling about death. It always gives me such a deep emotion. Either it’s family or friends. I need days, weeks, months, or even weeks to understand the fact that someone I know, care about, or love, pass away.

That is why, I understand completely how Francis might have felt. Especially since his Dad chose to die by suicide. Shocking.

It’s a great book for those interested in how people deal with death. Not only is there Francis’ story on how he sees his father’s passing, but also his Mom and Luc, his younger brother.

View all my reviews

Alone

I eventually realized that, no matter what, you are actually ALONE. Not really ALONE, knowing that God is always with you. But, ALONE here means no other human being.

Hm…I myself even found it hard to explain — you should see how confused I get with this ALONE explanation on the next paragraphs. LOL.

I had this idea when I found out that the older people get, the more complicated they become. And, the complication, at the end, affects their relationship with others. Either friendship, family, or even marriage.

Why complicated? Because, the older you get, the more you have seen, felt, and thought about. It somehow creates a new you. Yet, this new you comes slowly, you don’t realize that you have changed.

These changes sometimes are hard to accept. People who know you prefer the old you. But, they actually have changed, too. And, they just don’t know it — just like you. And, you also wish that they remain the same. Just like the one you knew let’s say 10 or 20 years ago?

Is that possible? I doubt it. People change. And, yes, they get complicated, too. And, they get more unique.

Look at kids or teenagers. Watch a group of kids playing or teenagers hanging out. They act, dress, and talk almost the same. Because, they just haven’t lived long enough to witness the craziness of this world.

While older people, they have seen, felt, ant thought a lot — just as I mentioned earlier. And the way they see, feel, and think about things is not the same from one to another. At the end, this differences are what make them unique. And, at the end, alone.

I used to have a group of friends, we used to hang out together occasionally. But, now, each of the members has changed, each totally lives a different life from the other. And, hanging out together is not the same anymore.

But, it is simply my thoughts from what I experienced. Other people might go through different things and they turn out not to feel ALONE.

Or, maybe the word ALONE doesn’t fit this silly explanation. I don’t know. I think, I might need to search other word(s) that would go along with all my ramblings in this post.

And, by the way, none of them is important. Sorry, if you happen to read it. It’s just me, being confused. However, I’ve warned you on the second paragraph of this post. So, I’m not responsible of your being confused, too, reading all these.

Ok. Basta!

[Picture by: Belovodchenko Anton, Russia]