Writing with, for, and about Sam

I always love writing. When I write, it feels like being on the set and I am not me. Similar to reading.

I am currently writing a novel about a man named Sam. I asked a few friends to read the first chapter. So far, their comments were positive.

I am on the 146th page now. Yet, I feel like the whole story needs more gimmicks. So, that’s why I haven’t asked those friends of mine to read the other chapters. It still needs touches here and there.

At first, I knew where to send this not-yet-completed novel to. I mean which publisher. But, a little discussion with a dear friend made me rethink about it. And, now, honestly, I don’t know where to send it.

Another self publishing? I don’t think so. I don’t have the fund. Plus, other reasons I can’t share here.

So? What?

Hm…now I am supposed to continue the novel. But, as I said, I needed to do something about the story. And, now, I still have no idea what to do. So, I guess, I’d just let Sam sleep for a while.

Why I thought that Sam and his story need more touches here and there anyway?

Guess what, I have just read book reviews on GoodReads.com. That’s the reason why.

Some reviewers mentioned about how flat a book is. And, I have a certain worry that Sam’s story might be a little flat at the beginning. Because, at this 146th page, I haven’t brought out the conflict yet. Because, I thought, I still needed to create a complete basic story to finally end up into a big climax at the end.

Yet, I now consider that I might be wrong about it. Some little conflicts must be taken out earlier — a lot earlier. So, I’ll be working more on the story anytime soon. (Actually I have just got a slight idea on how to do it.)

We’ll see.

It’s not Baze…

and I hate it.

I hated what Math said to Baze. And, I hated what Lux told Cate.

I mean, it broke my heart to see Baze‘s eyes. Watery and sad like that. It seems to me that it wasn’t only Cate who fell in love with Baze. I think, I did, too.

I mean, it’s normal right, falling in love with a character? Either in a book or drama series like Life Unexpected. I do it many times already. But, this kind of love never lasts forever. Only a few days, or even…a few minutes.

Back to Baze. According to http://www.tvfanatic.com/, Cate’s wedding is not the end of Baze and Cate’s complicated relationship. Still, it hurt me to see Baze hurt like that. I think, I don’t care about their relationship. I simply don’t want Baze to be hurt. So sweet, aren’t I?

[Picture from http://www.tvfanatic.com/]

Baze or Ryan? – “Life Unexpected”

I like Baze better. But, choosing Ryan is more logical. Oh, yes, by the way, I have just watched “Life Unexpected” on Hallmark.

Choosing Baze would be perfect because he’s the father of Lux. So, Cate, Baze, and Lux can be one great family.

But, somehow, Ryan seems to be more responsible. He has a steady job and…what else? I don’t have anything to say about Ryan. I can’t think of anything interested or nice about Ryan. Even as a radio host, he doesn’t sound cool enough. Oh, I know. He’s more mature than Baze.

And, now, Baze…he’s a bad boy — my type of man *wink-wink*. Yet, he tries all his might to be a better man. To be more responsible of his life, of Lux‘s life. And, lately, he’s been so protective to Cate. And, he’s cute!!! Look at the picture!

Considering my previous post, where I talked about love and marriage, about how both could be logical. Well, choosing Ryan is more logical than choosing Baze. But, I like Baze better than Ryan.

LOL. As if I were the one who had to make the decision. I know, I’m being Cate here.

Whenever I watch drama series or movies, or read books about love, life, and family, I almost always pretend — consciously or unconsciously — that I were the main character. I feel what he/she feels. I cry with him/her. I laugh, too. I even get mad as well.

I don’t know, it’s like fiction is my other life. Just like dreams. Today, I tweeted about dream. That dream is the medicine for boredom. I mean, sometimes, you get bored with your daily routine, with your life. And, dreams heal. You get excited again. That works the same way with series , movies, and books. So, I don’t think I can live without any of them.

Back to Baze and Ryan. Who will be the one walking down the aisle with me Cate?

Cate and Ryan‘s marriage is only days away.

Let’s see. If I were the writer, what would I do? Where would I lead the story to?

• It’s predictable, on the D-Day, it would be Baze marrying Cate.
• Quite predictable, Baze would tell Cate about his feeling but it was too late, Cate was ready to walk down the aisle with her mother (that she has just asked).
• Unpredictable but somehow predictable, the wedding would be canceled for some unpredictable reasons. And, things would just be the same. Love triangle is back. Baze, Cate, and Ryan. LOL.

Enough for now. I think I have to mind my own writing instead of trying to guess what’s in another writer’s mind. Plus, I’m kinda hungry. Need to grab some food. Ciao!

Oh, btw, I missed the final episode of “Parenthood”! I hate it! I have to watch the rerun this Saturday Sunday. Gotta put on the alarm so I won’t miss it.

Now, I really have to go…a plus!

Note: Baze’s pic from Daemonstv.com and the other pic from Tvguide.com. I resized them a bit though.

Love and Marriage – in my eyes

I agree that you can’t push someone to love another one. Love has to flow, just like that. It’s the fruit of your heart, not your mind.

But, there were times when I used my mind to create love. Weird, isn’t it? But, it worked. Using my mind, I set boundaries on how to love and who to love.

Not easy, I have to admit. But, I could.

Being married for seven years now, I am more sure that love can be created using logical thought.

Somehow, men do it, I guess. In Indonesia, people say that love comes from eyes and goes down to your eyes. What do your eyes see? Beauty. And, your mind starts to say, “Hey, she’s pretty. I like her.” So, it’s a work of mind, isn’t it?

My parents’ marriage, to be honest, was set. It was my parents’ parents who made the decision. Yet, they survive up until now. Also some people I know. It’s not that they don’t have love in their beautiful marriage. But, they started it without love. Love grew after the wedding.

I, thankfully, started my marriage with love. But, during these 7 years, I also have to recharge it again and again to survive. So, my point is, with or without love, it depends on how much you want to make it work.

And, most people depending their marriage simply on love didn’t make it. But, those depending on something else did. For example, those depending on the commitment, not only to their spouse but also to God, to Allah. And, from the way I see it, marriage is not only a commitment with another human being, but also with your creature. If it were only with another person, why don’t you just live together, there is no big difference anyway — in terms of what your heart says, if you know what I mean.

To be honest, the boundaries I talked about previously had been set by my family. At first, I felt burdened. But, after thinking about them all carefully, I understood their points. And, I didn’t want to lose them by ignoring those boundaries — yes, there were chances that I might lose them if I did. It was a win-win solution for both them and me that I decided to go with those boundaries. Thankfully, I met someone that I could fall in love with. Someone within the boundaries. I guess, to fall in love, you have to let yourself fall in love.

And, let’s just admit it, sometimes, marriage — especially  in my country, it’s not only between two persons. It takes a whole bunch of big family — although now it not as big as some years ago, which included some extended family, now mostly only your nuclear family. So, I wouldn’t be happy if I couldn’t include my family on my happiest day a.k.a wedding day. So, yes, I wanted my family, too.

Why suddenly do I talk about love and marriage? I just feel like it. Hm…ok, I admit it. I have just seen a possibility that someone I know might be ignoring boundaries set by his/her family. She/he looks happy. But, I was wondering how her/his parents would react if they knew it.

I know, it’s none of my business. That’s why I didn’t say a thing to either of them and decided to just let go of my agony on that matter here, at my own blog a.k.a home.

Normally, writing would heal. Let’s see if this one does.

Simply: ME

Happy fasting everyone!

I started this fasting month being sick. The first week, I haven’t had my appetite back. It was hard. But, the good thing is I LOST WEIGHT. Isn’t it great?

I lost about 3 – 4 kg. Enough to make about 8 people notice the changes. Yet, my hubby said that he didn’t notice it because the weight lost was not significant. How could he?!

Well, now I gain back my appetite — not my weight I hope. Yet, I’m still not feeling good. My health is kinda up and down. Also my hubby’s and my daughter’s. I’d rather blame the weather. One day, it rains heavily, the other day it feels as if the sun is only 10 cm away. Can you imagine how hot it is?

Enough complaining. Now…smile!

BTW, I’ve been writing again. The latest novel I’m working on. I’ve reached page 109. I think I want to make it about 200 pages. Or, at least 100.

It’s about a man of 27 years of age. Yup, the main character is a man. So, I have to delve into man’s thought. How one would react to a situation. How he sees things. It’s a challenge. But, I like it. Wondering how men actually think.

Now, about me. Life has not been easy. But, I’m trying to work it out to make it better so I won’t have to complain a lot. I hate complaining but I just can’t help it. But, hey, life doesn’t mean that everything goes the way you want it. Life means, just live with it. And, try to be happy. So, let’s try.

About books. It’s been a while since I really read. But, luckily, the publisher I’ve been working with has just contacted me again to review one book that they plan to publish. At least, I have to read. I give myself one week. I think, I’ll make it. I kinda like the way the story is told. Not a famous writer, but I like the style.

About being a woman. I have just bought 2 blouses. I don’t do it often. Buying clothes and not only 1. So, why doing it? It’s almost Idul Fitri. I know, it’s not about new clothes. But, I want to honor the day by looking nice. I bought a white one and a flowery one. Let’s see, if I look good in both, I’ll share the pics here. If not, then…I won’t.

So, I think, that’s it. Enough for today. The only reason I decided to blog here today was simply because I’ve got an e-mail saying that there was a comment at my old blog, http://nadnuts.blogspot.com/. That made me miss blogging. So, here I am, writing one right after I completed my work.

About my work, I’ll write about it more some other time. I have a lot to tell you about it. It has something to do with Indonesian culture. I love it.

Anyway, gotta go now. Gotta prepare myself for fast breaking (is it the right term am using for buka puasa?). Ciao!

Note: picture by Tracy Carpena from Philippines. It’s tea, a drink that I normally have for fast breaking (just cmiiw about this term ok? ).