Let Go of a Dream

It hurts so bad, I would cry all day long. But, crying can’t change anything — although it does make me feel a lot better. I simply have to keep on living, forgetting it, pretending that it never existed.

When I was younger, I dared to dream. I had lots of it. And, most came true. Lucky, aren’t I?

But now, life seems to give me a chance to understand itself better. As if it wanted to say that what you went through was too easy. Let’s got to the real part.

I can’t tell how I deal with it. How I go through it all, what I learn from it all. I simply still don’t know.

It’ a process. And, it includes forgetting a dream — or at least not to think of when it will finally come true, if it will.

So, I’m letting go of this particular dream. And, maybe also other dreams. Don’t know yet.

1 Day away

It’s only 1 day away from my birthday. My 32nd now.

I don’t know how I should see this birthday. I don’t even know what to do on that particular day. Should I hold a party — a small one, only family included? Or, should I simply give myself a me-time? Or, I’ll just let it go by?

Well, I have prepared some kind of a celebration at my online store. And, I guess my online life would be pretty hectic that day — thanks to facebook.

Yet, I’m talking about my offline life — I can’t say ‘real’ life ‘coz anyhow my online life is in a way as real or even more real than my offline life.

I was thinking about having this contemplation time just like th eold time when I was early 20. However, at that time, I was comtemplating about what would I become.

Now,  I don’t know yet what I would become. But, I’m not searching anymore.

Well, let’s see if I can think of something excited for me to do on that special day. I doubt it though. I have a feeling it will just go by, it will just be the same as other ordinary days. So what if it is?